1. Do not criticize your spouse’s parents or friends.
You have to be careful in acting against the law and a good friend of your husband. “Even when you are irritated with your husband, your contribution can make them even more angry,” Wish LeslieBeth clear, EdD, a psychologist and a certified social worker in a clinic in Florida. Dr. Wish recommends to put yourself in a position so you can empathize with your partner.
2. Tell your partner about your contacts with your ex.
Either you get a friend request on Facebook or meet old love when your child’s soccer game, covering such matters could have a harmful impact, even though you no longer have feelings for your ex.
“If I have nothing to hide, why should be covered?” As stated by Deb Castaldo, PhD, couple and family therapist and professor at Rutgers University School of Social Work in New Brunswick, New Jersey.”That spark of dishonesty and cover-up,” he said.
3. Do not be so dictate.
Offer your support, listen to your partner, but avoid saying, “I know what’s best.” Give space to your partner to make decisions and gather self-confidence through a variety of experiments and have it do the same for you.
4. Do not continue to dominate.
You might find it easier to do various things. But stop! “Couples who are not involved can feel tired of her role,” said Dr.. Wish, and kesankan that everything is in your partner’s dependents, even if he volunteered to bear the burden.
Get used to your partner asks you, “What a nice stay here?” Or said, “I can help clean up the kitchen,” to him. Questions could create an impression, you guys are teammates.
5. Do not discuss the problems of the past.
Or at least not too much. “People often repeat the same mistakes because they have not solved the problem,” said Dr. Castaldo. Bring up old wounds often makes marriage collapsed, he said. It is important to immediately resolve the problem so the problem exists and create understanding to avoid conflict. “Direct finish, and respect other people’s opinions,” he said.
6. Do not buried your feelings.
“There will be a former toothpaste here, the patch message there, as the man was a natural thing,” said Dr.. Wish. “You have to be able to say, ‘It does not matter’.” But if it’s important, then say it. “Tell your partner why it bothers you then you will be able to find a way out,” said Dr. Wish. You will be surprised that you can learn from each other.
For example, your husband can wash the dirty dishes yourself if you explain to him that your home is filled with dirty laundry and wash your tired. Also, it is important to understand that your husband did not mean to disappoint you every time he made a careless or forget something. Simple requests such as, “Honey, it would be nice if you could take the clothes in the laundry while you’re out,” could make it angry because he does not feel forced.
7. Do not submit or upload photos private thoughts publicly.
Your partner may not want to share the pictures your child. And wish you both deserve to be respected. “Discuss the basic regulations related messages about yourself, as a couple and put any other people,” said Dr. Castaldo. And no matter what happens, do not ungkapakan complaints about your husband to get sympathy. “Dangerous for the problems you on Facebook,” he said.
8. Take time for family.
When your attention dispersed, your partner could be the thing that does not matter. So prioritize your leisure time and if necessary, discontinue use of the gadget, as said Dr. Wish. “Berkonsetrasilah the ratio concept: How much do I spend waktukku to it compared to spending time with my family,” he said. Make it a rule for the relationship and stick to your household – such as simple rules do not play the phone at dinner.
9. Do not advance the “L” word (ie divorce).
Even in the bitter strife, avoid saying the threat of divorce. In addition to pain, the threat of the “L” is constantly repeated can lead the couple to each other considering their ugliness. “We act as though the level of anger gives us the right to say or do anything, he said. Lerner. “But threatening divorce will never succeed, can actually make the possibility of divorce is more open.”
10. Be the first to your spouse.
In other words, beware of outside influences, such as the idea of your friends influence your thinking to neglect your relationship for the sake of a job or a hobby. “Couples who are happy to have a conflict as a divorced spouse, but they know how to handle it,” said Dr. Castalo. “The couple must have a strong bond among themselves and they do not let others stand in their way.”